Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I figured out our problem….

I found my comfort with you to let that wall down, but you still don’t want to. So I get mad at myself. Mad at life. Mad at the world. And get upset with you. Being careful not to trip on my words, afraid of another pointless argument with two souls who can’t love each other. Be so right, but be so wrong. Your nothing I ever dreamed of wanting, but be so right, feel so right. It’s difficult for having something that you trialed and error’d on for years in arm’s length and still can’t have it. I yearn to hear you tell me you love me. Or just be the man I know you can be when I feel. Ugh that sounds stupid. 
My heart. My love. I honestly feel it. It scares me.
I have to let you go.
I need to let you go
I just need to let go loving you. Learn to separate it into the friendship we once had. It’s so frustrating. When I want to let go, you pull me back in. stop. Please. It hurts. I can’t deal with my heat being torn at. I’m not sure if I’m strong enough for it. Let go of me. Let me go.
But what if I don’t ……
I give… You pull back… I give … you pull further away….
You give … and I’m afraid.
And be right where we was before … Oh well.

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