Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The straw that broke the camels back ..

I have this big heart that always wants to care, always wants to forgive, wants to believe there's hope and not give up. And every now and then I feel it creating its own heat trying to warm up and thaw out the thick ice that surrounds it. But it's trapped. Imprisoned by something else.

I have this brain. This, logical brain. So full of clarity and able to view things from many different aspects. Keeps everything in check. When I'm in some sort if confrontation, it helps me sit back and view it from someone else's shoes. 

After many years of battles between the heart and the mind. The mind clearly won, by default of course, the heart led by its own emotion and emitting so much trust was torn apart by the same people they considered allies, people it felt it could trust and help. And maybe, but not right away be reciprocated. Which never happened.

All along the mind knew, so it sat back and watch the easiest war being won. Knowing all along, the only thing that matters was to put the wishes of the body first. Time and time the mind tried to help the heart, but like everything else the heart pumps out was stubborn as ever.

After every failed attempt the heart takes, the thick ice just grows thicker. Sometimes the mind wonders how can two thing from the same place be so different.

It's been awhile since the heart tried warm up, the mind thinks its given up, letting life run its course.

The heart tried to light it's fire... Only to send chills through the body.