Tuesday, April 5, 2011

4:00 am . April 5th, 2011 </3

everything i touch i seem to ruin. I cant ever harbor feelings for someone who is actually willing to reciprocate them. why is is that we always want who we cant have? and obtain these feelings for someone who we thought would never have feelings for?

It bothers anymore when you bottling these feelings up with no way to express them. One because you don't want to, and two you don't know how. Ever felt like you had a secret admirer? Ever been one? Watching from afar seeing them get hurt, in and out of relationships. And you just dip in and out of their lives casually like a fly. And in that moment of solitude, or that time when you see them after years… all these bad thoughts come to your head, saying how much you would like to be in the shoes of catering to that person. Feeling the affection they give that you’ve always been wanting.

Have you ever had your dream guy? Ever met him? And he end up being some ordinary Joe, not a artist or actor. Someone normal… but still could never have them. Get so close to only be pulled away. Afraid .

Ever swear to yourself that you don’t want any type of relationship, with anyone. But in those nights alone, or sitting quietly consumed by your thoughts there’s this one person that creeps into the back of your mind. Then come the flashbacks, close your eyes and you can still feel your head on his chest, the texture of his hair, and the feeling of never wanting to leave.

Ever been afraid of rejection? Wasted, thoughts, time, and pride. Hate when people say; “What you got to loose?” . There’s a lot at stake actually.

Have you tried listening to your gut and it doesn't give you a response?

Wonder why you even have these feelings/thoughts in the first place?

What if?





…………………………………..Yeah, me either.