Thursday, January 27, 2011

I got a heavy chest...

The past month has been a filled with many emotions. Coming to a point where im growing tired of the uncertanity of the people around me, along with the choices I've made. Now, I'm not saying i'm perfect. I made my bed now I need to lay in it. In other words, I made some mistakes and have to deal with my own consequences.

There has been plenty of times where friends have walked in and out of my life, we all even have those that stay but arent really there when you need them. Its usually in my nature to let them go, but only a few I try and fight for, but theres a breaking point...when you become restless and frustrated with trying to amend things even when you feel you did no wrong. At that point you can only let life take its course. Because everything happens for a reason.

I cant help but to feel like there's some things that are being said to other people about me (which happens all the time so whatever) but, this time is trying to ruin a close friendship of mine. Peoples actions and no reason for their dislike of me have me wondering that theres more to it that are afraid to speak on. Everyone wants to speak their mind, want people to address them and act mature, but when the shoe is on the other foot its different.

Ive been fake? I've been as real as it gets when it comes to myself, and i've been learning that i need to stop putting other people before me. But i've got my own life too, which has more than enough issues going on.

You would think that the truth will set you free, or that it will make things easier. How wrong are we, we never know how events will turn out until you take that risk. We can never take back the things we did, can never regret them because at some point we wanted it, even when we told some one we loved them. People fail to realize the strength of that word, when its said it's never stop loving anyone friend or lover, just learn to live without them.

Honestly. I'm still a human being, some friendships mean a lot to me, even if they aggravate my soul and it slightly bothers me that they dont feel the same.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Day 6 ♥ A stranger

I hope one day I’ll meet you, and you’ll be someone that will never leave my life. Maybe I’m hoping for too much. Even if you do not stay, I know you’ll be there for a reason.
I’m not a easy person to deal with, my emotions fluctuate all the time, I can be very selfish and most of my actions are only understood if you honestly know me, basically to know me is to love me. I cant understand myself at times, but most of my intentions are good.
Stanger, if you reading this….. I don't bite…………


Ever felt alone and betrayed? Ever felt like there's no one to turn to every time somethings gone wrong? Ever felt like some risks just aren't worth taking? Ever felt like you wish you could go back and follow that gut feeling? Ever not felt like yourself and went against all your morals? Ever felt like the pain would never go away? Ever wish that friendship could still be the same? Ever wish that you can be that person that you try to convince yourself you are? Ever felt like living isn't worth it if you have all this pain?

Have you ever just wanted to cry and no tears came out?
Have you ever cried at the smallest situation that didn't have to do with you and it felt good?

You ever pray and just hope god will answer?

You ever try to laugh and it hurt?

I have.
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