Thursday, January 27, 2011

I got a heavy chest...

The past month has been a filled with many emotions. Coming to a point where im growing tired of the uncertanity of the people around me, along with the choices I've made. Now, I'm not saying i'm perfect. I made my bed now I need to lay in it. In other words, I made some mistakes and have to deal with my own consequences.

There has been plenty of times where friends have walked in and out of my life, we all even have those that stay but arent really there when you need them. Its usually in my nature to let them go, but only a few I try and fight for, but theres a breaking point...when you become restless and frustrated with trying to amend things even when you feel you did no wrong. At that point you can only let life take its course. Because everything happens for a reason.

I cant help but to feel like there's some things that are being said to other people about me (which happens all the time so whatever) but, this time is trying to ruin a close friendship of mine. Peoples actions and no reason for their dislike of me have me wondering that theres more to it that are afraid to speak on. Everyone wants to speak their mind, want people to address them and act mature, but when the shoe is on the other foot its different.

Ive been fake? I've been as real as it gets when it comes to myself, and i've been learning that i need to stop putting other people before me. But i've got my own life too, which has more than enough issues going on.

You would think that the truth will set you free, or that it will make things easier. How wrong are we, we never know how events will turn out until you take that risk. We can never take back the things we did, can never regret them because at some point we wanted it, even when we told some one we loved them. People fail to realize the strength of that word, when its said it's never stop loving anyone friend or lover, just learn to live without them.

Honestly. I'm still a human being, some friendships mean a lot to me, even if they aggravate my soul and it slightly bothers me that they dont feel the same.

1 comment:

  1. People who don't reciprocate or mirror your attitude and feelings as a friend aren't really your friend. Those people are hanger-ons or what I like to call Associative Common Folk. They are associates, people who don't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

    Don't let people who want to drive down the wrong way on a one way street bug you, love. Just keep doing you, keep pushing forward, and always put your heart first, no matter WHAT your mind says. The real will stick around, the fake will find someone new to play with.

    Love you.